Words That Helped - Part 3

Sometimes, the most helpful and kind words come from people you would never expect would say anything at all.  That is exactly what happened to me just after Kitty's funeral.

My daughter reserved the church social hall and parish volunteers to provide and serve lunch ... you know, the funeral lunch ladies.  After everyone had eaten and most people had gone home or back to work, I wandered into the kitchen to thank the group of women - and there were a couple of men in the group, too - who gave up their day to serve us.

One of the volunteers in the kitchen expressed her condolences and then took it a step further. 

She had seen our story on the news and understood well that Mandy, son-in-law and possibly even the rest of us, could potentially fall victim to hate and cruelty.  Her next door neighbors' son was the shooter at a mass workplace killing some months earlier. 

More than three years later, I cannot quote her exactly, but the words she spoke turned out to be good advice.  She told me to find someone to open our mail.  Her neighbors received lots of correspondence - mostly from strangers, many with unkind or threatening messages.  She opened mail for them.  If they were leery of any envelope or package, it was handed to her to check first. 

I hadn't thought of that ... why would I?  Everyone had been so kind.

I shared this advice with Mandy and the rest of the family.  Sure enough.  The nasty mail came.  I was so grateful for that conversation after the funeral lunch.  It was helpful in a different way ... not consoling so much as practical. 

Two years ago, I changed churches to join one nearer my home.  In the welcome packet was a pamphlet that included all of the ways to become involved in parish activities.  I signed up to sing in the choir, to help with a dinner for new parishioners and to serve on the funeral lunch committee.