Tips to Help Get Through the Holiday Season While Grieving

Getting through the holidays after losing a grandchild is no easy task.  Your heart aches, your child is in pain and family gatherings may be awkward because people don't know what to say or how to act.   Unintentionally insensitive folks either don't recognize that we are mourning our loss or they choose to ignore it.  On top of of all that, many of us have living grandchildren to consider.  We want them to experience the beauty and joy of Christmas or Hanukkah and it takes effort on our part to bring the 'happy' to the holidays.

So, how do we survive the season?

Today, I would like to offer a few  tips that I've picked up from two sources.  I hope they will be helpful to you as holiday events draw near and the busyness of the season takes its toll on our already exhausted bodies, souls and minds. 

Let's start with taking care of yourself this holiday season.  I've previously mentioned the obvious need to sleep and to eat well, but self-care goes far beyond physical well-being.  It also involves our mental and emotional health.  From "A Practical Guide For Grieving During the Holidays" a publication by whatsyourgrief.com, come the following suggestions:

*  Make a plan for how you will cope when things get really tough.  Will you go to a support group, call a friend, go to church, exercise, write in a journal?

*  Give yourself permission to cry, even in public.  Don't feel bad when you find yourself sobbing in the middle of (a store) because you saw a gift your grandchild would have liked.

*  Preventively schedule an hour here or there for mental health time.

The third suggestion above is somewhat vague.  One speaker I heard at a support group meeting offered more specific ways to take time for yourself, to de-stress, i.e. 'mental health time'.  She suggested:

*  Taking time for prayer
*  Treating yourself to a good cry
*  Allowing yourself a good laugh
*  Lighting a candle and reflecting on special days spent with your grandchild
*  Healing with a nap
*  Relaxing with music
*  Sharing coffee or tea with a loved one
*  Journaling
*  Taking a leisurely walk
*  Sneaking in a movie (with popcorn!)
*  Pampering with a massage, manicure, etc.
*  Tuning out - peace and quiet
*  Checking your to-do list and taking delight in crossing off those things you've completed - as well as those you've decided to delete!

I also hope you've had time to look at the checklist I attached in my last post.  It has proven itself to be a useful tool for me, my family and for others with whom it has been shared.  If you haven't yet had a chance, it's not too late for it to be helpful to you in de-stressing.

Finally, please feel free to post in the comments any ideas, tips or advice that you are using to prepare for Christmas, Hanukkah or New Year celebrations.  Our support for one another through sharing resources is one of the greatest gifts we can give!