Rainbow Baby, Rainbow Kitty: A Sleepover With My Granddaughters

The Dasher had a sleepover at grandma and papa's house this past weekend, but I didn't realize during the planning that Kitty would be part of the fun, too!

My little Dasher is a quirky sort of four-year-old.  She likes to pretend that she's a cat and calls herself 'Kitty Cat Carrie'.  At least, we think that she's just pretending.  But, on occasion, we wonder … like the times that she eats dry cat food from my pets' food bowls, licks our faces, crawls around on the floor and rubs against our legs.  Much to our embarrassment, these cat behaviors sometimes emerge in public places.  A friend of mine told me once, "She knows she's not a cat. She's just funny!"  Indeed, she is.

Dasher is also our rainbow baby, born nine months - almost to the day - after Kitty's death.  For anyone not familiar with the term 'rainbow baby', I found this beautiful description in a post on dailystrength.com, a website that lists a vast variety of support groups and resources:

"In some circles, babies born to families after the loss of a child are referred to as "Rainbow Babies." The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/pregnancy-after-stillbirth/discussion/definition-of-rainbow-ba_1

Typically, the term 'rainbow baby' is used following a miscarriage or stillbirth, but I do believe that Dasher fits the above description with all of the color, energy and hope that she brings to our family.

On Saturday morning, as we were cuddling on the couch watching cartoons, she looked up at me with her big, honest, innocent, brown eyes and said, "Grandma … did you know that Kitty Cat Carrie is a rainbow cat?"  No.  I did not know that.  She went on to describe her alter ego as a cat with red ears and rainbows all over her body.

Wow!  I was shocked then and am still a bit stunned at my four-year-old granddaughter's inherent awareness of herself as a rainbow baby, i.e. rainbow cat.  Prior to this past weekend, I never associated the facts that I called my deceased grandchild 'Kitty' and Dasher pretends to be a cat … and a rainbow cat, at that!  

Dasher has been told that she had another sister, older than herself, but younger than Belle.  She knows there was an accident and she understands what happens when a person or an animal drowns.  But, to the best of my knowledge, no one has informed or explained to her that she is, most certainly, our rainbow baby.  

I believe in the signs.  Kitty is with us and, with the sense of humor she had in life, she makes her presence known to and through her little sister in an unusual, quirky, funny and, yes, sometimes embarrassing way.  

What a blessing to have a most colorful sleepover with Dasher in my bed and Kitty Rose in my heart.

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