Dasher: Our Gift From God, Not a Replacement

We didn't know it at the time, but Mandy was pregnant when Kitty died.  It was a difficult time to be waiting for a new baby while mourning your 8-month-old grandchild, but it was good for us to have a 'happy' distraction. 

Knowing we were having another granddaughter, I was excited when Dasher was born - days within nine months from the day of the accident.  This baby gave our family the chance to regain some joy.  There is no replacing a child that has died - that will never happen -  but there is a reality that you can move forward, allowing happiness and hope to return.

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And boy, oh boy, does our speedy little tornado ever make us laugh.  We ask her if she is going to be a stinker or a sweetie and she tells us, with a bit of growl in her tiny voice, "stiiiinker".

I look at Dasher and she looks so much like her mother when Mandy was 2-years-old.  I look at the 2-year-old age progression photo of Kitty and the resemblance between these two children is remarkable.  Sometimes, it's as if Kitty left this world, made a u-turn and came right back.   

Needless to say, I feel a closeness to Dasher that is unique.  Is it because she looks like Mandy?  Or that she so resembles the artists' versions of Kitty?  Is it that she brought brightness back into some pretty dark days?  Maybe it's because she is independent and daring - traits her mom also possessed as a toddler?  Or let's just get to the reality of it: Is it because some people view her as a replacement child and I resent that?

There is no way Dasher would have or could have ever replaced Kitty.  Mandy was already pregnant.  People didn't know it, though, and some people thought it was too soon for her and son-in-law to have another child.  Someone even made the comment, "Well, this one had better be a boy."  What? ...  As you can imagine, that person is now on the outer fringe of the friendship circle.

I love my little stinker ... not more than my other grands, just differently.  And down the road, I will talk about what makes Belle, Basher, N, J and G, special, too. 

For now, I leave you with this:  I believe that Dasher was a gift from God at that specific time to be a beacon of hope a promise of happier days for all of us.  Amen.

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