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In the first year after Kitty died, I had no shortage of people with whom to talk. Opportunities were over the phone with family and friends, over the fence with neighbors and over the internet with Facebook contacts. Everyone wanted updates on Mandy and son-in-law ... especially after yet another court appearance and the news updates that followed.
When Kitty and her dad weren't much of a story anymore, the curiosity ended and so did the conversations. My friend, Rita continued her weekly calls to check on me. My family was there if I wanted to talk, but they were dealing with their own grief. I wanted and needed to find a new outlet - a different place to mourn with others, more specifically, with other bereaved grandparents. It's amazing how God gives us what we need at the time we most need it.
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It takes an enormous amount of courage to take steps forward along our grief journey. Some of the difficulties get easier with time and some hurdles we consciously struggle to jump over. Yet, there are some obstacles that continue to hold us back.
Last week, I took an unexpected ambulance ride. My week was disrupted, my plans changed and I ended up in a hospital bed. The last overnight hospital stay I had was in the waiting room at Children's Hospital in 2013 when Kitty died. Now, this unplanned sleepover gave me plenty of time to remember and to reflect on what had happened the night of the accident that took the life of my granddaughter.
Overcoming adversity. It's in the news every day. We're either hearing about or talking about improving the stressed relationships in our communities through tolerance, listening and acceptance. The book I most recently discussed in the blog ended with a chapter about using our grief and loss to find a cause, to work towards making a difference. Both messages are clear: there needs to be positive action for positive change to take place ... to overcome division, whether globally or personally.
It's one of those days ... I'm sure you have them, too ... it's a day when little things remind me of Kitty.
 just finished reading "When A Grandchild Dies: What to Do, What to Say, How to Cope" by Nadine Galinsky Feldman. As most resources available to grandparents, not every chapter related to me personally, but overall, I found it worth reading.
What sets this book apart from others is that Galinsky Feldman uses insights, stories and quotes from many bereaved grandparents In order to provide a wider perspective beyond her own family's loss. After losing two children and seeing the pain her mother experienced, she realized the lack of grief resources available to grandparents. |
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