Life Doesn't Pause ... Everything in its Time

This has been an anniversary year like no other.  I’ve been frustrated all week.  Typically, I spend this time in reflection and memorialization, trying to muster up something inspirational, hopeful, promising to share.  This year, I have nothing to offer.

Well, that may not be completely true. 

Since mid-December, things have been amiss.  The annual Christmas flower donation to my church in Kitty’s memory was somehow misdirected and went unrecognized.  I had recurring memories of the accident, the time at the hospital, the visitation at the funeral home, writing thank you notes.  Thoughts – just like the funeral director said about the floral arrangements 11 years ago – “they don’t stop coming”. 

I mentioned to a friend that I was dreading “Kitty Week” because I was remembering far too soon … it was a month early.  I expected a highly charged, emotional anniversary week.  But, by the time January 18th – ‘Accident Day’ rolled around, my anticipation couldn’t have been more off the mark.  Distractions, needs and outside demands have occupied my time.  I’ve been busy with unexpected volunteer commitments, extra grandchildren on babysitting days, the death of a friends’ mother – other people needed me to step up for them.  It was impossible to spend ‘Kitty Week’ in the way to which I’ve grown accustomed, focused on my granddaughter.

After working my way through the final day of the week, January 25th, the 11th anniversary of Kitty’s funeral and burial, the arrival of all those early memories makes sense.  I’d moped around all week, feeling sorry for myself because I wanted time to focus on remembering Kitty.  And suddenly I realized that God put all those reminiscences on my mind early because, in His grand scheme of things, He knew my attention was going to be needed elsewhere during the week I typically dedicate to her.  The time I spent remembering ahead of time was much preferred to not having it at all.
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Life doesn’t pause because I want it to ….  Everything happens in its time, as we’re reminded in Ecclesiastes 3:1-18:

For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born,
and a time to die;
a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill,
and a time to heal;
a time to break down,
and a time to build up;
a time to weep,
and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn,
and a time to dance;
a time to throw away stones,
and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace,
and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek,
and a time to lose;
a time to keep,
and a time to throw away;
a time to tear,
and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence,
and a time to speak;
a time to love,
and a time to hate;
a time for war,
and a time for peace.

[Ecclesiastes 3:1-18; NRSV]

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