A 2017 New Year's Resolution - To Find Purpose After Loss

's New Year's Eve.  If you are reading this any time today or on January 1st, I'm guessing that 2016 was not a good year for you and your family.  My sympathies to those of you who lost a grandchild - or any loved one - and to those who experienced multiple losses over the last 12 months.  Most likely, you are saying 'good riddance' to the past year and are looking forward to better days, a more healing and comforting 2017.

---

2013 was my bad year -  Kitty died in January and exactly one month later, my mom passed away.  On August 1st, I lost my aunt, Mom's older sister who served as a third parent during my high school years and again the last few years of Mom's life, when she lived with dementia.  2013 was the year I needed to get beyond, from which to heal and to be comforted, but never to forget.  I needed a purpose; something to twist and turn my burdening, overbearing grief into positive, healing, comforting, purposeful action.

Realistically, when the hands of the clock move from 11:59 p.m. to midnight tonight, our grief won't magically disappear.  We know that.  But the new year does give us the opportunity to follow the age-old tradition of making resolutions, of making plans to 'change our ways', of being creative and finding purpose through our loss.  Perhaps we can find comfort by making a resolution that uses our grief and mourning to find purposeful activity and, thus, make 2017 a stepping stone year toward renewed joy and peace.

In past blog entries, I've mentioned some of the ways my daughter and our family honor Kitty.  They range from volunteering to financial donations to personal projects.  Each of us has has our own special way of expressing our grief, of making our memories and love for Kitty Rose present and visible in our lives.  There is nothing more obvious than my writing this blog!  No matter how we individually act on our grief, it leads us forward on the journey and allows us to live with hope.

The website whatsyourgrief.com, recently published an article that lists 64 New Year resolutions for the bereaved. My top picks from the list:

   1.  Talk about your grandchild.  Say their name.
   2.  Let go of guilt about having fun or enjoying life.
   3.  Start a project either memorializing or in memory of your grandchild.
   4.  Be open to happiness.
   5.  Create a memory book, a memory box or memory board of your grandchild.
   6.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.

If you are interested in exploring more specific ideas to help make 2017 a year of transformation, the article can be found at:  http://www.whatsyourgrief.com/64-new-years-resolutions-for-grievers/.

In closing, I want to add my own resolution to the above list:  express yourself.  Whether through talking, writing, painting, music, sewing, crafting, woodworking, gardening - the list is endless - verbal and creative expression of your loss has the potential to be one of the most comforting and healing things you can do.  And when you find that one special activity that brings a bit of joy, please share with us in the comments to give hope to other bereaved grandparents. 

My prayer today is that you discover, embrace and implement a 2017 resolution that guides you toward restored happiness, purpose and peace.  May God so bless us all. 

Happy New Year!